Johnny Z Strikes!
“Wow! Look at all the carts. This is pretty cool. Now, let me get this straight. There are eight little golfing players and they are playing for that trophy which will be filled with champagne. That’s pretty cool,” Renee drew a long sip from a very tall Johnny Rum Bob. “Do you think they will share?”
“Um, they might. Now remember, we shouldn’t talk while they are making their shots.”
“Yuh, I get that. I know golfing. I always wanted to be bunkered.”
“Really, hmm. We’ll have to work on that.”
“Yes, we will!” Renee smiled. “Now let’s see, the eight golfers are going to play three holes and two will lose on each hole. Then, those two go home and after three holes, there might a chip-off, and then we will have a winner and we will know who is passing the champagne. Right?”
“Sort of.”
“How long ‘til the champagne?”
“Not sure.”
“Well, can we visit John after sixteen?” Renee drew a larger sip and smiled broadly.
“I think so.”
“Goodie! Now, who’s playing?
“Let’s see. Jim Crane and his partner Roy Andersen. They’ve been trying to win this thing for 30 years.”
“30 years! I wasn’t born. They look pretty good.”
“Uh, yuh. They’re pretty good golfers too. Andersen made like a 30 foot putt on the last hole to knock out your pals Horsey and Jimbo.”
“That was mean,” Renee winked. “Horsey’s quite the performer. He was at the songfest last night. You know, until 3:00.”
“Probably right. Let’s see, then there’s Dr. Jeff Rockmore, he’s a new member and John Zongrone, he’s from Voorheesville, or somewhere out there. I hear they’re pretty good. You’ve met Rockmore’s wife, Kristen.”
“Oh, yeah, the pretty one. She’s sort of a jock. She probably understands golfing. I mean all the guys were talking to her.”
“Really, I hadn’t noticed.”
“Right, you didn’t notice,” Renee laughed.
“Well, then there’s Mike and Michael Hayes. They shot 62 in the qualifier.”
“That’s good right?”
“Yes, Renee, that’s good. And the last team is Darryl Teal and Jay Doyle. You met them last night. You talked with their wives.”
“Not as much as you.”
“I didn’t know we were keeping score on that. But, yes, we talked.”
“Anyway,” Renee sipped on, “you’re right. They are fun. That Jay, he’s got a little of the devil in him. And, Darryl, he’s sorta cute.”
“Interesting. Hmm, well, they’re teeing off now, so let’s watch.”
“Does that mean shut up?”
“No, it means let’s watch.”
The eight players played forward.
“Hey, that Mike Hayes, his wife is expecting again right? Is that why he hit it a lot further than the others? And look, there are no places to get bunkered on this hole.”
“That’s right. But, there’s a creek in front of the green.”
“Why would anyone go there?
“Good question. I wouldn’t ask Crane or Doyle that right now.”
“Oh look. Mikey hit it on the green, right near Darryl the stud. I’m getting a little confused about this stroke thing and why some of them aren’t on the green and some are. It’s not like tv, is it?”
“No, on tv, the gallery is quiet. But, really it is just as exciting, maybe more.”
“Some of them seem nervous, and look Jay just picked up his ball. Eww, and what did Darryl just do? Uh Oh. He looks cranky. It looks like they’re out. I can’t believe that little putt.”
“Uh, Renee, we might not mention that again, okay?”
“Okay, I won’t say anything. This is sorta fun. Let’s go see Johnny, then we can watch more.” The cart moved to the top of the hill. “LOOK! BUNKERS! I hope someone gets bunkered! Cool!”
“Easy Reneee. Call Johnny, tell him we’ll be right there for more rum mixes. You don’t want to miss the bunker play.”
When they returned Renee had a planters punch in each hand. “Wow, Mikey hit another good one! And look, three golfers are bunkered! That is so cool.”
“Umm, they are probably not as happy about it as you are. Please don’t cheer. Now, they’re getting ready to hit. Take a sip.”
Renee watched with interest. “Some of them did pretty well, didn’t they?”
“Yes, Renee.”
“And now watch Mikey,” she sipped again. “What was that? The ball, it hit… it stopped… then it like ran backwards… down that big hill. Is that, is that fair? Why did that happen?”
“I wouldn’t ask him right now. Maybe in a couple months.”
“Look there are balls in the valley. Why do they have their putters? I thought those were for the green. I think they are going to putt up the hill. That’s a little funky. Oh look, look what happened to Jimmy. It’s rolling back down. That’s so cute. It’s right back where he started. Ummm, does that count as a real shot?”
“Yes, yes that counts. You might not want to be so loud right now. I… I wouldn’t ask about that one either.”
“Well, everyone is here. It’s not like a secret.” Renee looked concerned, then suddenly smiled. “Oh look, there’s Mr. Expose himself, Kenny. He’s sorta cute.”
“Well, you could talk to him about that. Now, they’re going to putt. Please keep it down.”
“Okay. Hey, Mikey’s father is putting first. Wow, he’s not doing too well. That’s a long way. How far?
“Uh, forty feet, down hill, going to move right to left.”
“Ah, a shifty one. I get it. Look, it looks slow. Barely rolling. Look, it’s getting closer. Going faster. Hey, it… it looks… oh my God! It went in! Mikey’s Dad knocked it in! Cool!” Renee raised her cup. “Way to go Mikey’s Dad! I like his pink shirt too!” She sat down and successfully drained her punch. “We need to see Johnny,” she sang.
“Soon, soon right after 18.”
“Oh, look. Mike senior and Johnny Z hit into that long grass on the left? Doesn’t that make it harder?”
“Shh, keep it down. They’re tired, and, you know, doing the best they can. If you can’t say something nice…”
“I know, I know. Is that Fescue Grass like being bunkered?”
“Well, it is. Actually it might be worse.”
“Or better,” Renee giggled. “It might be better. Let’s go over there and see.”
“No, I don’t think so. We might not be appreciated.”
“Well, at least two of them aren’t in there. And, look at Mikey. He’s way down there. Mikey hits it a long way.”
“Yuh, he’s a big hitter.”
“Oh, Mikey’s big. I like that.”
“Don’t we all? Now, keep it down.”
“Mikey’s Dad and Johnny Z aren’t doing very well. They’re not even up to Mikey yet. But, Dr. Jeff, with the jock wife, he did pretty well. He’s down at the bottom in two.”
“Right, shh. Big Mikey’s going to hit.”
Renee watched. Mikey struck it clean. The ball sailed high and kept sailing. “Hey, watch out,” Renee shrieked. “Look, oh my. That man just fell down.”
“I’ll say. He looked like he’d been shot. Gosh, I hope everybody’s okay. At least there are some Doctors around.”
“Yes, where’s that cute Doctor Bill, or Doctor Derek, my new buddy?”
“I think they are over at the range, or maybe on the putting green. Let’s get a closer look at the victim.”
“Oh, look at Mikey,” Renee purred. “He’s worried about that poor man lying on the ground. Oh, he’s running to see how he is. That’s so cute!”
“Renee, he’s worried about… uh oh! It’s… it’s… the club cardiologist! This is serious.”
“Oh, look! Johnny sent out a bag of ice. The doctor’s hand is all swollen. Ewww!” Renee turned away. “And look, look where Mikey’s ball is. That looks ugly I think Dr. Jeff and Johnny Z are going to win.”
“Well Dr. Jeff made a nice chip. If he makes that putt, they’ll win.”
“Then we can have champagne. And, I’d like to see some bunkers”
“Uh, okay Renee. Now watch the putt.”
Dr. Jeff sizes up putt & trophy
